Pull the Weeds out by the Roots

A few weeks ago, I was doing one of my least favorite things...weeding. I don't know why I dislike it so much. I mean, I love being outdoors and I enjoy having a clean garden.

But why did God have to create weeds? *

*Apparently weeds do have a purpose. Essentially, weeds keep the earth from falling apart. Who knew?

All they do is try to choke out the things I planted and take away from my hard work. I already have enough trouble keeping plants alive and then weeds come along and make it even harder! Let's just say I was not blessed with a green thumb.

Anyway, whenever I force myself to weed I make a choice as to how I am going to do it. I can 1) yank the top of the weed and pull out as much as I can leaving whatever doesn't come out with the initial yank behind or 2) carefully pull the weed out and use a trowel to dig down and get the roots out as well. If I'm being honest, most of the time I choose option 1 because the top is the only part that is seen as people walk by so I get it done, quick and easy.

Somehow, I am always surprised when I notice the pesky weeds are back within a few days. So I wait a few more days until I can't take it anymore and then I go out and go through the whole ordeal again. And so the story goes for much of the year.

The last time I was weeding I was feeling particularly motivated so I was there with gloves and a trowel ridding the garden of the weeds. I was digging down and getting to the roots the best I could so I would have a few weeks until the next time I had to weed.

How many "weeds" in life do we yank at the surface and hope for the best when we really need to dig deep to get to the root of the problem?

When we are faced with a problem in life it is far easier to "yank out" the part that other people see and forget about the roots. Inevitably, though, that problem shows up again a few days, weeks, months, or even years later...sometimes even bigger than it was before.

In ninth grade, I was diagnosed with anxiety. I began counseling and, while the strategies helped in the moment, they were not solving the problem. The more I tried to conquer the anxiety the more frustrated I became. Clearly I was doing something wrong because I wasn't feeling set free. For the next 5 years, I was in and out of counseling hoping for some sort of breakthrough.

Flash forward to 2018 and the anxiety was getting worse. I was no longer simply dealing with anxiety but now the enemy was throwing depression into the mix. Why could I not break free?! I had put in the effort and done the work but I was still stuck. I decided to return to counseling in hopes this time would be different but no matter what I couldn't keep living like I was so I took the plunge.

"You have Complex PTSD."

Those words still bring tears to my eyes as I remember the relief I felt when my counselor uttered them in our first session. My life made sense now and I wasn't crazy! All those feelings had a reason behind them. This was the breakthrough I needed.

It turns out, my mind had been growing weeds since I was five years old (more on that later) and for all those years I had only been yanking at the parts on the surface that I could see. It wasn't my counselor's fault and it wasn't my fault either; my brain just wasn't developed enough to fully understand what I had experienced in my childhood.

The journey wasn't easy; in fact it was downright challenging at times; but it was so worth it! I was finally using my gloves and trowel to dig out the roots of the weeds that had been tormenting me for most of my life. God hadn't given up on me even when I had given up on myself.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6

Sometimes there are things in the way of getting to the roots but know that God will never leave you. Just like He didn't leave me. He was there, right beside me, every step of the way and He is walking beside you, too!

So where do you begin?

I am not an expert, by any means, but this is what I have been learning to do and it has truly helped me.

1. Pray. Pray. Pray.

This may be a foreign concept to some people especially because our society is questioning God and placing doubt in people's minds but it is never too late to start praying. Prayer may not give you immediate answers but I can guarantee it will bring immediate peace. Ask God to hold you and help you through whatever you are feeling right now.

Remember that He loves you and only wants what is best for you. I will admit this was one of the hardest things for me to accept. My earthly father didn't feel that way about me, therefore, it was extremely difficult for me to believe it about my Heavenly Father. But God is greater than this world and far greater than any sinful human.

"As for God, his way is perfect: the Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him."

2 Samuel 22:31

2. Accept your emotions.

We live in a culture where we have to be okay all the time or we have failed. It is so easy to believe the lie that everybody else's life is perfect because that's all we see...perfection. Let me tell you that what we see on social media is not the whole story! Nobody's life is perfect. That perfect picture you see took 10+ shots to get it just right and in between those shots there were tears. That perfectly phrased caption took all day to type because the kids started throwing a temper tantrum and the love just wasn't flowing.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Romans 3:23

When you feel like you are spiraling out of control, tell yourself it is okay. You are not alone and it's okay to feel what you are feeling. Emotions are good even if they don't always feel good. Its what we do with those emotions that can be bad.

Rest in your emotions and allow yourself to feel.

3. Dig deeper

While you are praying and resting in your emotions begin to dig deeper to get to the roots of the weeds. Ask yourself "why?" Why am I feeling this way? Keep digging until you get to the root.

Example:

Why am I feeling angry?

I'm frustrated that my dog won't just to the bathroom.

Why is that frustrating?

We go through this every night and I just want her to go to the bathroom when I take her outside before bed.

What else am I feeling?

I'm tired and stressed.

Why am I tired and stressed?

I haven't been sleeping well.

Why haven't I been sleeping well?

Because I am overwhelmed and my brain just won't shut up so I can go to sleep.

Why am I overwhelmed?

I feel like I'm not good enough at anything I do. I'm not a good enough teacher. I'm a horrible dog mama. I'm failing my friends and family.

Why do I feel like I'm not good enough?

Because my dad didn't treat me like I was worth his time or love therefore training me to believe I am not good enough for anything or anybody.

(That example was me before I started going to counseling but I only got to answer #2 before my emotions exploded and I was crying over the fact that my dog wouldn't just pee).

4. Talk to somebody

You do not have to go through this alone. In fact you were not meant to go through life alone.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

James 5:16

Do you have someone in your life (counselor, pastor, friend, family member) who can help you dig at the roots of the weeds in your life?

If the answer is no, like so many people, then I encourage you to find someone who can fill that role. Ask a friend or family member, whom you trust, if you can be completely honest with them. Tell them about your weeds. Just speaking it out loud can make all the difference in the world. Maybe you don't know who that person is currently in your life. There is no shame in seeking professional help from a counselor or pastor. I can promise you, once you find the right person, it will be worth the money you spent to be set free.